Just be to the point : I prefer to be contacted via email. It’s easier for me, Thank-you for your understanding.
This is my life. I tell people that it’s difficult for me to find privacy to talk on the phone, so it would be better to email/text me. I’m always able to shoot off a message, but it’s difficult for me to have conversations because I’m always with other people. In my case, this is usually true.
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You could say: “I would be happy to communicate over email or messaging, but please refrain from telephone calls”, or “Please note that I strongly prefer email or messages as the method of communication, instead of telephone calls”.
I would say that nearly 80% of all of my communication with my father is via email. It is a much more reliable way to communicate for a variety of reasons.
- Permanently documented
- Easily referenced
- Device independent
- Time independent
- Promotes articulation
You could explain all that, or you could just take
Joe Blake‘s advice and tell them they will have better success without the phone. It’s what I say, too.
You can say, very politely, that you prefer emails and text messages over phone calls for several reasons. 1) During the course of a business day emails and text alerts will give you a heads up with a single alert tone whereas phones might ring at the most inopportune time. 2) Emails and text messaging allow you to reply when most convenient for you rather than forcing an immediate response. 3) Emails and texting are more private because they are a quick and easy form of silent communication. 4) Calling at an inconvenient time and being “pushed off” to voicemail is apparent to the caller and can cause confusion about how important you are to them. 5) In today’s busy world email and texting are the most user friendly for everyone. Of course, there will be times when personal phone calls are a must and should not be avoided.
If this person usually calls and you want them to start emailing you:
“Thanks for thinking of me and giving me a call. It’s always so nice to hear from you. My schedule has been crazy lately, and these days, email is usually more convenient for me instead of the phone. Would you mind terribly if we switch to that?”
If there is no precedent, and they said they will give you a call:
“Great. Thanks so much. I look forward to hearing from you. If you would do me a favor though and use my email address instead, I’d really appreciate it. I will be able to get back to you sooner that way.”
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You don’t have to tell them anything. Callers can be transitioned to emailing you by screening the call. Then, when it’s too late in the evening to call back, email them instead:
“I got your message, and my thoughts on this are…..”
“I saw you called earlier…..”
Just tell them that they will likely get a quicker response if they email/text you rather than call.
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The key to not feel uncomfortable when you’re in fact unsure and uncomfortable is to “Fake it Till You Make It”. And to stop being so serious about life.
Also, practicing detachment might be good. That is, to just do what needs to be done without putting so much emotions and “If(s)” to them.
So, just gather your courage and ask away as if its the most normal thing in the world. As long as you are being polite and let yourself be clear that you want to text for the convenience of it (and other reasons only you know, so you should explain to them) in contrast to emailing, and not because of some weird reasons (like wanting to spam or ask weird questions, or contacting them in weird hours, etc), I’m sure it will be alright. I can’t guarantee how your friend will respond, tho. As I don’t know them personally.
The bad thing is that you might get rejected. But the worse thing is that if you don’t ask you’ll never get what you want.
Maybe some people prefer email to talking because other people don’t know when it’s time to hang up (the phone) or leave (in person).