• The decision of getting my mother married, once again.

    At the age of 52, I lost my father to a silent attack over two years ago. It surprised me, my sister, and my mother, because my father wasn’t unwell at all and we never expected it to happen so soon.

    I’m not going to make myself emotional by describing how difficult it was for the three of us to fight the tough days and attempt to get out of them. My older sister is married, so it was a little easier for her to immerse herself in her family to distract herself from the sorrow, but my mother and I were tormented every day and night by seeing all the spots in our house where my father used to sit, chat, eat, and laugh.

    There was no relief even six months after his death. I recall coming home from work and seeing my mother sitting outside the house on the stairs, a sorrowful look on her face, waiting for me to arrive so she could stop thinking about my father and talk to me.

    My mother used to cry in front of his picture, asking God why he had taken him away from her.

    I recall her crying his name in her sleep and then waking up and saying, “Papa kaha hai?” ” Where has Dad gone? I used to remind her that she needed to get back to sleep.

    Only persons who have lost their parents, like as myself, can realize how difficult it is.

    After a few months, I was required to relocate for a job in a different city. I used to scold myself for abandoning my mother, but no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find work the desired work in the same city. Every weekend, I used to go see her so she could be happy for at least two nights, but I realized I was being selfish by prioritizing my career over her.

    She has always been my superwoman, and because she is a warrior, she advised me not to leave work because she would take care of her.

    I decided to look for a spouse for her after three months in the new city. Someone who is her age and has a similar level of understanding. Someone who had also lost their partner and was looking for a companion. She needs someone with whom she can discuss her health and condition. Someone she can share a cup of tea with and speak about life with.

    I set up an account on her behalf on a popular matrimonial website, complete with a decent introduction, profile picture, and my personal contact information because I wanted to chat with each potential match before sending him on to her. I talked to a few people before finding this man who works for the government and is almost my mother’s age, nice, intelligent, and mature. I persuaded my mum to meet him once and then decide whether or not she wanted to remarry. To this, she acted as one would expect from a widow in India. She stated that she would rather live alone than listen to society’s taunts, which will criticize and despise her, and even her own family will blame her for making this decision at the age of 50.

    I told her a lot of things to encourage her, but I think this is the one she got the most out of –

    “Every human on this earth has the right to live their lives in their own way, without regard for society, since society will not come to talk to you when you are 80 years old and alone. When you’re unwell and need care, most of your family members will avoid your calls. Only a soulmate would do it for you, and you would do the same for him because no matter how much your children attempt to support you, you will always need a soulmate to share everything with. Mom, you are well deserving of it. It wasn’t your fault that dad had to leave, but it will be your fault now if you don’t give yourself another chance. Please consider.”

    ————————————

    I supported them in getting married a few weeks ago. His family welcomed my mother with loving arms and praised her for taking such a brave step. I can’t tell you how joyful it made me see her smile once again. With all those bright outfits and jewelry, she’s starting to look lovely again. Previously, she would call and tell me that she is taking care of herself and that I need not be concerned about her, but now she calls to tell me that she has found someone with whom she is truly content and happy and that he is now taking care of her.

    Yes, I’m a little proud of myself.

    The purpose of sharing this very personal story is to ask everyone who lives away from their parents to take a moment out of their busy lives to see if their parents aren’t too lonely. Because all they know is to take care of their children first, they’ll never tell you whether they’re sad or sick, need your hand, or anything else, but it’s our responsibility to see if they’re happy or not.

    And to everyone in their late years of life, guys, you deserve all of the world’s happiness. Please don’t place a higher priority on anything other than your own life and needs. Nobody will remember what we did once we die, so why not do everything that makes us happy?

    Edit

    Guys, I’m amazed by all of your good wishes, gratitude, and support for making this decision. To be honest, I figured that reading my story might make a few individuals happy, but I had no idea that what I’m sharing isn’t very common in our society. I never felt like I was doing anything special here since all I wanted to do was make my mum happy. But, now that this response has reached over a million individuals, I’d want to raise one question – Why isn’t this more common in this country? Do you believe our parents, who have spent their entire lives caring for us and racing behind us to ensure we have the finest childhood possible, deserve to be left alone in their later years? Is that right? Then why do we expect people to live their lives alone as if it were their fate?

    Thank you so much for coming forward to tell me that following my heart was the right decision 🙂

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